Be Loud

These aren't my words.....mine come later.

I don’t want to raise a good child

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box. A lot out of the box actually.

She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in on-line college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.

This didn’t surprise me really. Because Hope has always liked charting her own course.

When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.

One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their snot.

Not Hope.

She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.

Really nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.

I cried all the way home.

Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.

But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. ”God help me to raise Hope to be who you want her to be.” Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”

I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I started sensing He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.

Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.

I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with 3 simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:

1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.

2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.

3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.

And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”

Have you read it? Good!

Samantha Jane has always been sweet, loving, thoughtful...I could go on, but all you mommies get the idea because your kiddos are EXACTLY the same! But, baby girl is L.O.U.D. And I've always commented that it's odd that such a loud child came from two relatively quiet parents. After reading this article, my "mommy wheels" started turning.....1)Don't take too much credit for their good. oops 2)Don't take too much credit for their bad. No problem there- I just pass the blame to Daddy on that one ;) and 3)Don't try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult. THAT MAKES SOOO MUCH MORE SENSE THAN THE WAY I'VE BEEN DOING IT!!!!

When Sam was born, I became obsessed with famous quotes concerning child-rearing (if you've been with this blog since the beginning, you already know that.) Fred Astaire was quoted as saying "The most difficult thing for children is to learn manners without seeing any." Well I took that one and ran with it. And it has served me well. Samantha Jane understands the importance of being nice, polite, friendly, etc. Is she perfect at it? No, but y'all....she's pretty darn close. And I have been taking credit for that (see #1 above).

In the last few months, Samantha Jane has dived head-first into church and Sunday School. She loves it. She has also dived head-first into the land of "I must have a prepared rebuttal for whatever is about to come out of Mommy's mouth". And at any given moment, I have found myself muttering "how come she'll argue with me that the grass is green, but she takes the story of Jesus walking on water without a hiccup?"

Ummmmm.....because that's the way it's supposed to be, silly. To take Fred Astaire's point one step farther: How are children supposed to be immersed in the word of God when our world makes it so tempting to do otherwise?

A lot of this may sound like rambling, and maybe it is, but I have to write it down while I'm feeling it. The change I am making today? I am going to be proud of Samantha Jane's very passionate--very loud-- self. Because it is my job to nurture her to be the adult GOD wants her to be, not necessarily the child I want her to be. So BE LOUD BABY GIRL!!

Be loud for the Lord! And I'll follow your lead.

ps- I have no idea what's going on with the font and sizing here.....